Hollow
by montez
Summary: The loss was just to overwhelming. Pre-series


Hollow  
By Montez  
Disclaimer: NCIS characters are not mine.

_A/N: Okay those of you who know me know I'm not new to Fanfiction, but alas I am new to the NCIS universe. As with every other show I've ever become hooked on, I'm a latecomer and have enjoyed rewatching all the episodes from season one through now. I've had a couple stories playing in my mind that I'm slowly working on, but this just came to me and as usual I had to run with it. Hope you enjoy.-Montez_

They were gone. That's all his mind could process. All he could remember from the day he'd gotten the news was the anger, rage, heartbreak, but mostly the emptiness. His life was empty, over; there was nothing left for him to return home to. His beautiful wife and daughter were lost to him forever and all he wanted to do was be with them, his life was meaningless without them. He could remember the firefight that had erupted within hours of him receiving the news, but the rest was a blank slate with only flashes of memories. He was told later he'd ran blindly into the fray and an explosion had taken him down, injuring his leg and leaving him in a coma for days.

He remembered waking up and the crushing weight of his loss overtook everything. He didn't remember the flight stateside, the next thing he remembered was standing by a graveside, staring at the place that now contained the two people he loved more than life itself. This wasn't happening; it couldn't be happening was all his mind would replay. It was at the cemetery that he met NIS Special Agent Mike Franks. The older man took him for coffee and explained to him how his wife and daughter died. Explained that his wife had witnessed a murder and even once learning the shooter was a notorious Mexican drug lord she still insisted on testifying. He shook his head, knowing that is exactly what his Shannon would do; she'd always had a strong sense of doing what was right no matter what.

Within days he found himself in Mike's office, the older agent conveniently leaving the file containing the information about the man who'd killed his family out on his desk while he stepped out of the room. A few days after that found him laying in wait outside a small Mexican town. Even as he pulled that trigger and watched the blood splatter on the window, the truck rolling to a rest near a small gully, the pain of his loss again filled his soul, encompassing his whole being. For a few fleeting moments while he lined up his target and steadied his shot he had truly believed ending the man's life would make everything better, that it would stop the pain and emptiness he'd felt since the day the terrible news had reached him, but it didn't.

Through the refreshed agony he pulled himself up, leaving that unspent round at the base of the rock he'd used to shield himself, then quickly made his way back to the vehicle he'd left hidden two miles from his sniper's nest. Crossing back into the states he took the first flight back home he could get, Mike Franks was sitting on his front porch when he arrived, word already reaching Washington at the death of the cartel leader. He remembered Franks just looking at him, knowing what he had done without any words being spoken.

That day Mike left, leaving a business card on table near the front door with the words, 'call when you're ready', written on the back. That night found him hold up in the far corner of his darkened basement with a bottle of bourbon, his sniper rifle and his service weapon lying on the bare concrete floor before him. Morning found the bottle empty, the rifle still on the floor, but both he and the service weapon were gone.

A stop for another bottle and he drove to the small parking lot along a deserted stretch of beach, near the small cove his family would frequent when he was home on leave. Walking across the sand to toward the outcrop of rocks they would build their bonfire near all the memories of those days flashed in his mind. The horseback riding, the fishing, the sandcastles and playing with his daughter in the surf, the smiles of his wife and daughter as they would sit near the fire after a long day on the beach. He'd imagined so many more of those days, those memories, even thinking how nice it would be to one day bring his grandchildren to this special place. But now, now that would never happen, they were gone forever and all he wanted to do was join them.

Sitting on that rock, the shadowed remnants of past bonfire's still scaring the sand just feet from him. He took a pull from that bottle he'd brought, looked out across the expanse of beach that would never again hear the joyous echo's of his daughter's laughter, that would never again be graced with his wife's smile, that now would forever be filled with pain and heartbreak of memories that would never be made. The overcast sky crackled with lightening, the air rumbling with thunder as the storm started to move ashore was the only witness as he reached into the pocket of the jacket he'd dropped on the rock next to him, pulling out the mat-black object that was the only thing he could see that would end his pain. He'd never noticed the weight before, the object that had saved his life so many times, now felt as if it weighed a ton in his grasp.

The first drops of rain started to leave small holes in the sand around him as he turned the object in his hand, he just wanted it all to end, for the pain to stop and this…this was the only way he could see that happening, this was the only release he saw as his fingers pulled back the hammer, his thumb slipping in the trigger guard.

The loud explosion of noise, followed by the bright flash of light caused his body to involuntarily react, his head jerking up as the lightening flashed impossibly close. Through the veil of the downpour now showering the beach he thought he saw a shape in the distance, just barely there, illuminated by the flash of lightening that was shattering across the darkened sky. His breath caught at the impossible recognition when the beach was again brightened by the flash from the sky, "Shannon?" he whispered as the figure stopped on the other side of the one-time fire pit. Her face sad as she looked at him, the rain plastering his hair to his head, his soaked cloths clinging to his shaking body, his hands now trembling as they held the gun.

Then movement next to him nearly made him jump as a small hand reached out and touched his wrist, "Daddy", the gale-force wind whispered as his eye's landed on the form that would forever be eight-years old.

"Kelly?"

The specter looked into his eyes, his breath nearly stilling in his chest as the world around him stopped. The sound of the storm disappeared as the tiny voice of his beloved daughter whispered in his mind, "its okay Daddy, its okay…I love you Daddy."

"Kelly…" He choked out as the gun slipped from his hands and he tried to reach for her, but she'd stepped back from him, moving to stand next to her mother on the other side of the burnt pit. He stood on unsteady legs, moving toward the scorched sand, he stood across from his lost family, his tears mixing with the continued rain that was unnoticed, "Shannon…please…I…I can't…" He called out over the sound of the storm.

She smiled at him, her eye's shining with the love he always saw when he looked at her, he'd never understood how she could love him, but she did and he had loved her more than he'd ever thought possible until Kelly had been born, then he'd learned the depths that love could truly go and that had all been so cruelly ripped from his life, yet here it was again in her bright green eyes. "Yes you can Gibbs and you will…you will make a difference just like you always have, your sense of honor and duty will see to that and we will always be with you no matter what and we will wait for you…I love you Leroy Jethro Gibbs and I always will, don't ever forget that."

"I'm so sorry…" He shouted, his guilt at not being with them was nearly as consuming as the pain and emptiness.

Shannon's face showed a mischievous smirk, "Don't apologize…it's a sign of weakness". She shouted to him over the noise of the thunder.

He couldn't stop the hollow laugh that escaped as she reminded him of one of her many 'rules' that had become a running thing between them over the years, so much so that he'd taken to writing them down. He remembered the day she'd found the small box he'd kept them in and how they'd laughed together as the reviewed them all.

"I love you Shannon…Kelly…Daddy will always love you!" He yelled as his chest constricted, knowing he was going to lose them again.

Shannon again smiled that loving smile that was only shown to him as he watched his little girl's face light up, "I love you too, Daddy!"

The next flash of lightening was so close it blinded his vision and he felt his knees give out, when he looked again they were gone. He felt himself collapse forward as the pain and loss overtook him again, but this time it was buffered, if only slightly, by the love that he'd seen in their faces, as he was reminded of the love he held for both of them. As his hand shot out to catch his falling body it closed around a round, smooth object, bringing it to his face once his body came to rest on the wet sand he saw a small, flat stone with the words, 'we love you' scrapped onto the surface. Clutching the object to his chest, feeling the emotions overwhelming his already exhausted mind and body, he allowed the darkness to overtake him as the rain continued to pour from the rumbling sky.


End file.
